log 05: happy birthday☆

january 14th, 2026

 

greetings and salutations!! right, so, i know in my last devlog it'd be the last one for a while, but i wanted to post this. not a proper devlog, not updating on the state of the game (except to say it's going even betteerrr~~!!!) but i just wanted to pop in to celebrate and be sentimental...

so!! today!! officially marks one full year since i spontaneously decided to make a first-person shooter for absolutely no fucking reason and downloaded godot and a starter project during an english class on my shitty school laptop and proceeded to learn the ropes of not only godot, but also audio engineering, 3D modelling and game design, all in a year. looking back, that's kind of incredible, no?! i'm very prone to selling myself short, but like, how many people can do that!?!? seriously?!?!?

as such, i think i have the right to celebrate a sort of development anniversary, even if the demo isn't out yet. i've encountered lots and lots of trouble regarding learning so many new skills and also people reacting to my game, but all in all, i've made it this far!!! all by myself!!! and that's incredible!!

   

happy 1st birthday, unfinished game!! i got an artist to do the posters here, but i'm still waiting on the graphics!!! hahahaha!!! please ignore axis powers hetalia germany staring from the darkness that's a really long story

i got this cake in order to celebrate. i know you're supposed to light one candle for one year, and i was going to get one of those number candles, but the store didn't have any. instead, i got the cheapest candles they had, which were this cute pastel set.. i was going to just put one candle on the cake, but the candles happened to come in the exact colors corresponding to the candles, so i decided to be cute and arrange them like the characters in the title screen. the only matches we had are used to light the fireplace, so they burned super quickly, meaning i struggled a bit with trying to light the candles while also not burning myself and the house down

i decided to get a sachertorte because it was the tastiest looking cake they had and i hadn't had one in a while, but hindsight is always 20/20 and i had completely forgotten how sickeningly sweet sachertorte actully is. i'm sitting at my desk with half a slice of this stuff left because i can barely finish it. mind you, i bought a whole cake for some fucking reason. i'm home alone for the week. what the fuck am i going to do with a whole ass cake that's going to KO anyone with how sweet it is?!?! my god

my immaculate yet terrible choices in cake aside, this game is really important to me and i've spent the day being weepy and whatnot. it's a bit silly, really, to be this emotional over a game that's not even done yet, but i've poured my heart and my soul into this for a whole year now! i've ended up distancing myself from a lot of people just to work on this game, and while i don't necessarily regret it, i do feel guilty. it's kind of bittersweet. it's also very difficult to put so much of yourself into something and to still have nothing to show for it.

now though? i do have something to show for it. people are finally going to see i'm worth something, which is kind of insane!! being such an underachiever academically i've gotten used to being seen as completely useless and a waste of space, basically, but now i can finally show everyone i'm good at things. well, not even good, just that i can do things, you know?! everyone's useless until proven otherwise!!! what good are you if you haven't got anything to show for it, right?!

i've just finished my sachertorte slice and i feel like pouring salt into my mouth. that seems like a good point to end the needlessly sappy rambling about self-worth and whatever. as for the actual development of the game, i'm going to take my time polishing it, even if it is done — making things look and feel good is supposed to be the fun part of game dev! i'll definitely wind down the development for at least about seven weeks after this point, too. the reason for that being my matriculation exams and such. a ha ha. i'm nervous...

while the development's winding down for a bit, i'm actually looking for playtesters right now! please reach out to me on discord @ catskulls if you're interested. i'm planning on having playtesters absolutely obliterate my game while i finish my exams... i'll post further info on the site at some point, maybe...

nevertheless, thank you for reading! this has been a bit of a rollercoaster, no? i'm looking forward to yet another year of development, full of even more twists and turns. please lend me your support!!! next time, i'll have some actual content to show off!!!

best regrets,
ellen alias catskulls

p.s. don't get cooked, stay off the hook